I am trying to escape

I am trying to make myself busy

Driving to the city, having a meeting, going on a holiday, looking for another hobby, signing up for another course, watching movies

Uncertainty and discomfort are making me sick  

I am trying to avoid unpleasant feeling of hating myself

I am avoiding of taking the responsibility and making a choice

I am refusing unacceptable parts of me

What do I fear?

Of going deeper

Of not knowing how deep the bottom is